Point to where the as-builts hurt you

"As Built" drawings are drawings that show a structure as it was built.  Even if you didn't already know that, and I didn't tell you, I feel strongly that you would have figured that out.

We got the as-builts today and now I have a problem.  Some of  you will have a problem with it too.  Hopefully most of you, but definitely some of you.  Those of you that don't have a problem with what you see below, WTF is wrong with you?

OMFG I CAN'T STAND IT THAT THE GARAGE IS CROOKED.  I don't want to be of weak mind and easily agitated but I'm having trouble un-seeing this.

I want to go back to a time where I wasn't aware of this crookedness.  That is the world I need to be in.  The one where this isn't happening.  Why can't I have a guardian a-hole who could have intercepted this, photoshopped the garage straight and then passed it on t me.

The big garage, which previously was just an eyesore because of it's bigness, was fixable.  But how do you fix this?  I want to go to Folsom California and get my sturdy ol'chainsaw from my father's garage, come back, and then cut the blasted garage into rough chunks.  I then wan't to rent (nay, buy) this wood chipper and then hurl the effen bits into the chipper's murder hole.  I want to attach an acetylene torch to the chipper's ejection chute so when it vomits out the fakaktan garage dust, it explosively ignites and evaporates from this earth so it can't possibly exist in it's unholy crooked spot again or somehow infect the other buildings in the Alberta Arts District with it's darkness .

Here's a pdf version of the as-bults in case you want to start working on the redesign.